submitted from staffwriter digdeeperdown this morning and appearing here because we pity her:

personal to my dream woman:
you: rock star with day job in navy blue uniform with black pinstripes, shagadelic haircut, and sunglasses, driving a horse carriage near the watertower. me: elven bombshell in denim skirt and 3-inch heels, buying cookies at foodlife. if you are one of the 3 people (according to projected sitemeter numbers) to visit this page today, please email me! i'll pay for a whole day's worth of carriage rides like richard gere in pretty woman, and we'll do it on my piano.